THINGS TO PONDER.......

**LadyLove** · March 7th, 2004, 06:37 PM

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Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People" !

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I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

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It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

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A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

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My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a LARGE trash can.

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A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

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Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

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As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

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The early bird still has to eat worms!

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The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.

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Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

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Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever!

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**DejaBlue82** · March 12th, 2004, 05:16 PM

Abraham Lincoln probably had a medical condition called Marfan?s syndrome. Some of its symptoms are extremely long bones, curved spine, an arm span that is longer than the person?s height, eye problems, heart problems and very little fat. It is a rare, inherited condition.

If someone tells you you smell like flowers, it may not be a compliment if they are refering to the rafflesia flower. This flower smells like rotten meat!

The Great Pyramid of Cheops in Egypt, built about 2600 BC, was constructed with enough stone to make a brick wall that could go around the world 20 inches high.

Manhole covers, the lids that cover sewers, are always round. Why? The round cover rests on a lip that is smaller than the cover so it can't drop through the opening. A square or rectangular cover, no matter how it was made, could fall through.

On April 2, 1872, Victoria Woodhull became the first woman candidate for the U.S. presidency.

Humans spend a third of their lives sleeping.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

A golf ball has 360 dimples.

The state of Florida is bigger than England.

The average American spends about 6 months of his life waiting at red lights.